What I Do To Stop Comparing Myself To Others
Do we spent too much time and resources towards dreams that are never meant to be ours?
When you find your reason to exist, you stop chasing after what is not meant to be yours.
I read other writers and they all write better than I do.
Almost as if my mind was genetically bent towards comparison and self-dismissal.
Every day, my eyes converge to a sentence or an idea or an article that appears to fare better than my work. To my ego, their great writing means that mine sucks from on high and down below. My soul takes my hand and walks me back to the stories I was blessed with these last two years.
I am fortunate to have found the lifeline of my soul in this life: writing. Although I may not excel in it, it inhabits me, and my book projects are one of my major reasons to exist.
It is that internal canvas of devotion towards these books that bring me back to the simplest WHY of my life.
Why isn't that enough at times? Why do we have to go after callings that are not our own? Modeling after the dreams that belong to other people simply because those dreams have brought them immense success?
I used to believe that I would be the next spiritual guru on Oprah and Hay House radio and life has proven me wrong, taking me to a more literary path (my agents words, not mine) than the traditional self-help author.
Do I still internally sob when I come to see where I am today and where I thought I would be today 5 years ago? Yes my heart caves in a bit. But I get to catch myself onto the marvelous story of my Austrian soldier who deserves the very best telling of his heroic episodes. I walk myself back to the lifetime of my heroine Anna, who in 1885 was found guilty of writing by her own, despotic husband. Or I let the screen of mind play with Lila, the little girl who is the main character in my children's book where lice chose highly intelligent heads and orphans are the real light workers.
I presume that these projects are going to keep me busy for the next few decades and I hope that I won't let superficial dabbling in callings that are not mind will not betray my responsibility towards my budding books.
Maybe our unique gift is the straight and narrow gate leading to the most meaningful existence.
What can you come back to that is uniquely yours and that no one else can do?
Wait did I just call my writing a gift? Well. I guess it is a gift in progress and I am ok with that because it is the JOY of my existence.
I also know that we can only excel on what we truly meant to be doing.
So much love!!!